I Da Idol?

Well, of course Kris Allen won ‘American Idol!’ If he weren’t crowned King, then Adam Lambert couldn’t be Queen.

Speaking of Queen, who performed ‘We Are the Champions’ with Adam and Kris; I think Adam would be a great replacement for Freddie Mercury. Or uh, Paul Rodgers who just last week quit the band.

Poor Kris will be checking his pulse for the next three weeks over the shocking results. How about his big acceptance speech? “Adam deserves this. I’m sorry.”

I must say the show’s results finale has come a long way from the boring repetitive crap they used to show, with this year featuring performers KISS, Keith Urban, Cyndi Lauper, Rod Stewart, Jason Mraz, Black Eyed Peas and Santana to duet with the top 13.

They even brought back bikini girl Katrina Darrell along with her new breast implants to perform Mariah’s ‘Vision of Love.’ Darrell was upstaged by the powerhouse vocals of Kara DioGuardi who stepped in and flashed her bikini bits all in the name of charity. Wow! I bet she skipped a few trips to the kitchen to come out with a body like that.

Alas, the low moment of the show was the same as the night before… When Kris Allen wrapped it up with DioGuardi’s “No Boundaries.” Please Kris, do NOT record this song.

Looking forward to seeing Adam on tour with Queen!

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American Idol Psycho

I’m sure Simon Cowell’s ex-girlfriend Terri Seymour would like to see less of the psycho who attacked her outside the Nokia Theatre after last night’s ‘American Idol.’

Janice Thibodeaux asked Seymour if she was ‘AI’ judge Simon Cowell’s girlfriend, then tried to choke the brunette beauty.

Seymour didn’t require medical treatment, but Thibodeaux probably will… in the psych ward. For now though, the crazy bitch was charged with felony battery and is being held on $52,700 bail.

If anyone should have been attacked, I’d vote for Kara DioGuardi for penning the ridiculous “No Boundaries” ditty that finalists Adam Lambert and Kris Allen were saddled with performing as their final song last night. Somebody needs to put some serious boundaries on Kara for churning out this crap.

You can go higher
You can go deeper
There are no boundaries
Above and beneath you
Break every rule coz there’s nothing between you
and your dreams

Maybe she should get Obama to record it for the Special Olympics.

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